Men

One Day Fling

While in Hong Kong, it is safe to say that I spend most of my time either eating, in shopping malls enjoying the air conditioning, sight seeing, hiking and Tindering.

MenI was told even before I came to Hong Kong that the Tinder game is great here; full of expats and world travellers, right up my alley. I’ve been chatting with a few guys, most usually drop off the radar, which is expected. A couple of weeks ago I saw this cute Asian guy with a witty profile line, so I messaged him in response to his line. (Note: I’ve always only been into caucasian males, so seeing an Asian male that I found attractive was a big deal.) We started talking, he kept up with my weirdness in conversation and then he asked me out for lunch.

I was definitely cautious about this date, like any date. The night before when we were talking, I saw that on his Tinder page it said he was 2000km away, that’s not a good sign. I asked him about and it was as puzzled as I was, so I just brushed it off as a glitch in the app. Then I asked for his number for communication for the next day, sent him a message, then he replied on Tinder that he got my message but for some reason he couldn’t respond in text. This cause another reason for me to worry. Anxiety started to surface where I thought, ‘What if this guy, who is 2000 km away, is trolling me and is totally going to stand me up as a cruel joke?’ My trust in people got the better of me and I found myself getting ready and heading to go on this date with a stranger.

I got to our meeting place, which was a subway station (public location, duh) he wasn’t there so I started internally freaking out. Ten minutes later, I finally caught sight and made eye contact with a tall, handsome Asian guy and we approached each other. We gave each other a hello hug, then headed out to the dimsum place he was ‘raving’ about.

I learned that he’s a half Filipino/Dutch guy from Amsterdam, and have been in Hong Kong for a year now studying martial arts. He also told me he was leaving in three days time. We did the regular ‘getting to know each other’ chitchat during dimsum, discussing what we thought about Hong Kong, and things that different in our home country. I taught him the game ‘What Are The Odds’ and we pulled pretty stupid stunts drawing attention to us in the restaurant.

Just when I starting thinking about how the date was going to end and that we would have to part ways, I found out that he was planning on bringing me to a souvenir street cause I said I’ve never been when we were chatting on Tinder. I went with him to buy a poster for his martial arts teacher, and helped him find a place that would frame it (I was the translator cause he didn’t speak a word of Cantonese) It was a mission, but after much getting lost, we did it. During our journey to the framing store, he showed me how to spot street corner hookers, a skill I never really acquired.

For the next little bit we went to tourist locations, found benches and just walked around while chatting about basically everything about our lives. We made our way to Victoria Harbour and was disappointed to find out we got there right in time for the shitty Hong Kong light show. We made fun of tourists as they took pictures of themselves with selfie sticks, and complained how bad the show was. As the show started we began another round of ‘What Are The Odds’ He lost his round and had to shout ‘Penis’ seconds into the show. When it was my turn, he asked ‘What Are The Odds’ that I would kiss him. We started making out.

By now it was 6 hours into our date. I have never spent so much time with someone on a first Tinder date. I really did enjoy his company, I didn’t have to think about the awkward goodbye at the end of the date yet. We talked about how we’re probably never going to see each other again after today, and I was okay with that. It was one of those moments where you’re enjoying the moment then and there, not having to thinking about anything else than after that.

For the next four hours, we just walked around more, held hands (I haven’t had anyone hold my hands in a really long time. It was a small gesture but it felt nice), cuddled, made out and bought beers from Club 7-11.

Once midnight came around, we both headed to catch our last subway trains home, expressed our gratitude for each other’s company, had our last good bye kiss, and then I parted ways with a stranger I met ten hours ago.

Hands down, the best Tinder date I’ve experienced.

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The Next Mister

MenFor the past 3 months, I have made a pact to myself to swear off random, slutty guys that come my way, in hopes of eventually finding someone I like.

In the past, I have had my slutty phase. I didn’t care about my reputation, or self value as long as it satisfied my current thirst. It’s safe to say that I let myself put out without much thought because I know people around me that does it so casually too. It got to a point where it got too casual, and I had to take a step back and re-evaluate how happy I was in the long run in terms of looking at my past.

Like many other girls, I enjoy male attention and company. Up until first year university, I wasn’t able to take guys flirting with me seriously because I would think they’re joking or making fun of me. After that I got a better grasp at the potential I had with my overall personality and my looks. Even after the growing I have done, I am still having troubles. I respond to guys being interested in me, even though I know they’re only interested in the physical stuff. It’s just nice to have the attention, and I wasn’t able to distinguish lust from actual general interest in me. There’s also a difference between only telling each other things and actually having discussions to better know each other. If telling each other about what happened that day is the only topic of conversation that we have, we have a problem. I also came to realize during my series of sexcapades, men that don’t care about me are selfish lovers. I don’t feel comfortable communicating and usually get the shitty end of the stick. (Sorry for the TMI)

When I realized I wasn’t being satisfied emotionally and sexually, I decided that next mister I get intimate with will be someone I actually like. I’m not looking to marry said guy, but something more than shallow chats would be nice.

I would really like this to be upheld, but sometimes I do get jealous seeing my friends getting involved with guys, knowing that I could too if I wanted to. What if I don’t find someone nice for the next year? But I guess this would give me an opportunity to actually try to get to know people. So much internal and sexual frustration but I’ll live.

Sorry for such a personal post. I just wanted to document this for whenever I have doubts, so I can come back to have a gander and to refresh my memory.

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